Remembering Elizabeth Edwards

In the Summer of 2007, I attended my first BlogHer convention.  I had been blogging for about a year and had just begun flirting with writing about politics.  I had very firm opinions about everything from women's rights to foreign policy, but I wasn't a political blogger.  Oh no.  Why would anyone listen to what I had to say about politics?

But at BlogHer 2007, sitting in an audience of women (and a few men), I listened to Elizabeth Edwards talk about politics, her battle with breast cancer, and the power of women online, and all of that started to change.

I had supported John Edwards from my cozy armchair during his presidential run in 2004. I supported him again during the Democratic primary in 2008. And shortly after BlogHer in 2007, I heard that a group of women I greatly admire were starting a political blog for mothers supporting John Edwards for president. I asked pleaded begged to be a part of it.  And all of a sudden, I was a MOMocrat.

I don't want to revise history.  Despite the fact that John Edwards turned out to be a complete asshat and a poor excuse for a human being, leading up to the 2008 primary he was the only one talking about the issues that mattered most to me.  He was the first Democratic candidate to come up with a comprehensive health care reform plan and his talk of "Two Americas" brought the plight of poverty in the US to light.  Poverty isn't something that politicians like to talk about.  Not a lot of poor people are out there making political donations and their advocates don't have a lot of money either. But John and Elizabeth Edwards were acting as the voice for the people in this country who need it most.  I admired that.  I still do.

Elizabeth Edwards inspired me to write about my convictions. She inspired me to become a MOMocrat, to let my voice as a mother, a woman and a citizen be heard. I like to remember the time I had a chance to participate in a conference call with Ms. Edwards. (Some of my lucky fellow MOMocrats in California got to meet with her in person.)  Here's an excerpt from my blog post after the call:

I was on the conference call on my cell phone parked at my laptop in the dining room.  My husband has been transferring the contents of said laptop to an external hard drive for the last 3 days, so I was grounded, so to speak, unless I disconnected the hard drive and undid all of T's hard work.  I couldn't lock myself in the bedroom away from the chaos created by two small boys.

During the introductions, I accidentally un-muted my cell phone.  Of course, H&H began screaming and running around on cue.  I didn't realize that anyone could hear them until Elizabeth said "Whoever has the kids in the background, don't shut them up!  I might have to bring my own in here too."  Everyone laughed while I was staring at my cell phone in horror and frantically pushing the mute button! 

Of course, I got over my embarrassment immediately.  This was a conference call with mothers.  Elizabeth is a mother too.  She and my fellow mom bloggers certainly weren't going to judge me for showing a bit of humanity.

Elizabeth Edwards helped me to realize that as a mother I have a special point of view, an important one, and that I have an obligation to make my country what I want it to be.  On that call, she said, "We don't get the change we want unless we're willing to work for it." Elizabeth talked about not just making this a better America, but about creating a better world.

Today, Elizabeth Edwards died. And all of us, but particularly those of us here at MOMocrats, have lost a source of hope and inspiration.

She changed me.  I know she changed all of us.  My hope is that Elizabeth, and her children, realized just how much of an impact she had on so many people.  She really did work to create a better world and all of us owe it to her to keep on fighting for our beliefs.

Stephanie Himel-Nelson also blogs as Lawyer Mama and now works to change the world in her own way as a Communications Director for a nonprofit.

Rest in Peace, Elizabeth Edwards

Heartbreaking news. Just one day after she posted what would be her final Facebook status update, Elizabeth Edwards has died. Here is the message she left for us:

You all know that I have been sustained throughout my life by three saving graces -- my family, my friends, and a faith in the power of resilience and hope. These graces have carried me through difficult times and they have brought more joy to the good times than I ever could have imagined. The days of our lives, for all of us, are numbered. We know that. And yes, there are certainly times when we aren't able to muster as much strength and patience as we would like. It's called being human. But I have found that in the simple act of living with hope, and in the daily effort to have a positive impact in the world, the days I do have are made all the more meaningful and precious. And for that I am grateful. It isn't possible to put into words the love and gratitude I feel towards everyone who has and continues to support and inspire me every day. To you I simply say: you know.

Elizabeth Edwards was a woman of simple acts, enormous heart and an amazing intellect. She stood up to everything life handed her and still managed to make room to help others. There are no words to express the sense of loss I have as a woman, a parent and a citizen. She never gave up. Never.

Her final words were a testimony to her tenacity and heart. It was something she lived every single day. During the 2008 campaign when the MOMocrats had an opportunity to meet with her, she said this:

It's not about the guy, it's about the vision. If that's the vision you want, you have to go out and do something. You cannot sit on your hands and expect the change to happen.

Words to live by. In her memory, let's go out and do something. Let her inspire you to make change as a living memorial to her passion for us all.

Game Change -- Sexism at its Worst

So let me get this straight -- with the exception of Michelle Obama, all the women who were center stage in the 2008 presidential election (whether they were candidates or not) are bitchy, stupid, whining shrews?

If this is where we are in 2010 when it comes to permissible portrayals of women, I may have to live to be 237 before we're treated with even a modicum of respect.

I am SO weary of men journalists (and some women) thinking they can get away with sexist slams of women in the name of political commentary. The authors of Game Change, the long on gossip, short on real reporting book, apparently want us to believe that all the things we hated about the 2008 presidential campaign can be blamed on the women who were involved.

Yes, ladies -- apparently everything you didn't like in 2008 was all our fault!

Seriously?

Guest Post from a DADocrat: Hey Democrats. Quit Whining. Start Working.

This guest post was written by longtime MOMocrats reader, occasional MOMocrats tech support provider, and official DADocrat, John. Many MOMocrats readers already know him on Twitter as @trianglman.

The Massachusetts election was, without a doubt, a major disappointment to any progressive who fought for months to get then-Senator Obama elected to the presidency. Even days before the vote, sniping between the Coakley campaign and the national Democratic National Committee over a potential loss was already beginning leak into the press.

What we didn't need then, and really don't need now, is an endless blame game or circular firing squad. What we need is a solid plan to go forward into the mid-term elections later this year and win back the filibuster-proof majority we plainly require to get anything past the obstructionist Republican minority in the Senate.

The first thing we need to do is look at the strength of potential Democratic candidates. Democrats cannot run just on the Democratic name, or on the coattails of President Obama. Mr. Obama didn't win the 2008 election because he was a Democrat; he won because during his campaign he proposed policies that a majority of the American people wanted to see enacted, and explained them in a way the majority of American people could understand. People wanted a jobs stimulus program. People wanted transparency in government. And people still want real health care reform and real accountability for Wall Street firms that will help prevent future economic collapses like the one we are currently struggling to recover from.

I believe Attorney General Martha Coakley did support these goals, but if you were an average Massachusetts resident, you probably didn't hear much about what Martha Coakley supported, because she didn't campaign much on the issues. She campaigned on the fact that she is a Democrat just like Barack Obama and Ted Kennedy, and Scott Brown is a Republican like George W. Bush.

Now Elizabeth Edwards is to Blame?

As an early adopter of the John Edwards presidential campaign, I'm still smarting over the news of his affair.  Not because I think his personal life, or personal mistakes, are any of my GD business, but because of how this could have truly messed things up for the Democrats if he had become the nominee.

Because of how this distracts from reducing poverty in America, Edwards' pet issue.

Because of what he's said in the past about character and commitment to family and their importance for politicians.

It never occurred to me to hold Elizabeth Edwards responsible for what might have happened to an Edwards candidacy this late in the game.  But apparently, Sally Quinn had a lot of extra time on her hands, because in her Washington Post column, "On Faith," she blames Elizabeth Edwards for encouraging her husband to run for president even though she knew about the liaison.  And then smacked a really ugly and loaded label on Elizabeth -- "enabler."

Top ten reasons I'm done with this John Edwards affair (and why you should be too)

Wow. Activist and former presidential hopeful John Edwards had an affair. Two years ago he had an intimate relationship with a person with a made-up name who is so interesting she dated Jay McInerney and became a featured character in one of his books. (Alison Poole in Story of My Life, for the record, and not a particularly flattering depiction, but then, some of us know how exes can be. Fellow writer Bret Easton Ellis was also struck by Druck/Hunter/Poole, and included her in one of his books, too.)

That's right; I called her an interesting person. Not a slut. Not a ho bag. Not a home wrecker. I find that language sexist, offensive, and frankly? If I did it, I'd have to think of myself as a Mean Girl.

That's also right; I called him an activist and politician. Not a jerk. Not a cheating liar. Not anything worse. I find that unconstructive, and frankly? I don't give a damn.

That's right. I said I don't give a damn what sex Edwards had. Nor do I care with whom or where or when or how. It's none of my business.

Most adults have had sex. Some of it was poor choice, a mistake. It doesn't define us, or it shouldn't. If you've never made a sexual error, I bet you've made some sort of error. I have, plenty. It makes me reluctant to cast stones, and it makes me realize we can't define ourselves or our abilities solely by the mistakes we have made.

Speaking of adults, sex and mistakes, I'll be honest and tell you if a man is running for office, I assume he's got skeletons in his closet, usually of the affair sort. For some men, it's the sort of woman who launches two great books. For others, it's cops in the bathroom in the Midwest. For others, it's a string of women after a traumatic POW experience.

Let's grab that word trauma for a second. One of the questions I've seen asked most is, "How could he do this? Why why why? I mean, after all his family went through, his wife with cancer, losing a child, how could he do this?"

I have no idea. But I have heard that a lot of trauma and stress (work, health, grief) can cause people to seek an escape hatch of some sort. In other words? Your question just might be your answer.

So I'm not going to vilify him. I'm also not going to vilify her. In fact? I'm all done with the Edwards affair and I hope you are too. I'm even finished with discussing how it trickles down and affects other candidates and overshadows issues.

I have control over that. I'm not going to let it, and I hope you do the same. To that end, I'm going to give you ten good reasons to be done with this.

Elizabeth Edwards responds to news of affair

Read her diary on Daily Kos.

John Edwards hops aboard the Bad Judgment Express

So John Edwards had an affair.

Another politician can't keep it in his pants. Quelle surprise.

What to say? I am disappointed. I wish it wasn't the candidate I supported for president. Can I get my money back? I mean, if your candidate turns out to be a total douche, you should be able to get your money back, right? Actually, more than that I want my time back. The time I took to carefully explain his position to friends, family, and strangers. The time--all that time--I put into writing about him and why I thought he was the best candidate for president.

Hello, have you seen this site? It's called MOMocrats and we started because we supported a guy for president...gee...what was his name again? Right now I am thanking the universe that we had the forethought from the moment we hit publish on our blog to also keep our eyes on the bigger prize.

I've written before how I feel about cheaters, so you can imagine what I think about John Edwards now. And how I feel for one my idols, his wife.

As I've said before about public figures who choose to make such stupid mistakes, where were his people? I mean, if Edwards doesn't have the self awareness to keep himself on the straight and narrow where, for god's sake, are his people?

Lean in close, John, because I'm about to school you.

There Should be a Better Rule Than 'Don't Get Caught'

JOHN EDWARDS!

Yes, John, I'm talking to you.

How could you be that stupid?

You know, as a general matter, whatever politicians do in their private lives is their business.  I don't want them poking into my personal matters or anyone else's, so I think that's only fair.  Have extramarital affairs or don't, but keep CNN and the networks at bay.

In our day of 24/7 news coverage and cable news that feeds on stories about sex or anything even coming close, you have to be a fool not to believe that if you fool around, you are going to get caught eventually.

I really didn't think you were a fool, John.

Whether it's our business or not, when you get caught (and people always get caught), it will pretty much be the end of your political career, unless you are an uber-politician like Bill Clinton.

John, how could you not know that? 

The only way I would be more ticked off right now, is if you HAD become the Democratic nominee and this news was coming out 2 1/2 weeks before the convention.  In any event, the GOP is still going to find a way to make hay with this.  I know they are working on the ad even as I am typing this post.

Perhaps an even bigger problem for you, John, is that those of us who were your most ardent supporters, were also equally enamored of your wife Elizabeth.  As a matter of fact, some of us thought she should be the one running for president.  So, it's sort of a betrayal two-fer -- we don't care about the affair other than how it impacts your important messages on poverty and health care, and how it impacts your amazing wife.

If you or other politicians are going to find ways to mess up your political careers, and disenfranchise those of us who supported you, can find some new way to do it?

At least surprise us next time.

Cross-posted from Joanne's place, PunditMom.

Elizabeth Edwards on The Colbert Report

Elizabeth talks about healthcare and the free market system, poverty and that jet ski that hasn't arrived yet!

-Christine Modern English